The Ottawa Rabbit Hole

Well I survived Toronto, despite the best attempts of numerous crazy people and insane cab drivers. Among the crazy people I met this weekend:

1) Cab driver who talked non stop for about 15 minutes straight about numerous miracle cures, including drinking vinegar with water and a magic pill that seems to cure everything from cancers to making you smart. He claimed he wasn't in it for the money, but then he conveniently gave us the information of where we could go to buy it. As Mullins said after getting out of the cab, "I can't remember what my life was like without that guy talking."

2) The Cab driver who refused to take us where we wanted to go and kicked us out since we weren't going far enough to make it worth his time and the cab driver who was in line after him, but locked his doors when we tried to get in…we were blacklisted. We had to walk 5 minutes in the freezing cold and eat terrible pizza after the bar. It made me sad.

3) The cab driver who had some great 80's music playing on the radio and got into the groove when Jill honked his horn twice for him in rhythm with Boney M's Rasputin. This guy was alright.

4) The cab driver who had some techno beats pumping and decided to blast his stereo to full blast when he saw the slightest head motion of approval come from Mullins in the back seat. The music fueled this guys driving ability, as he took Toronto on at break neck speeds and was probably seconds away from multiple accidents. We should have suspected he'd be nuts when he did the uturn in the middle of a busy street to pick us up.

5) The crazy guy at Pizza Pizza who got a slice of peperoni pizza, ate half of it, decided it was terrible, went and paid for it, complained and got a free replacement slice, complained that slice wasn't heated up enough, complained when that slice was eventually given to him on cardboard rather than a proper tray and was just beligerant in general towards the poor fella working the counter at 3AM. He was still there complaining when we left, but I hope he left that place satisfied eventually.

6) TV guy, who was waiting at Pizza Pizza during the above scene and decided to strike up a conversation. He was picking up pizza and chicken wings for the girl he had waiting for him back at his apartment. None of us believed there was a girl back at his apartment. He was a great talker and had an interesting story for everything. He hates the neighbourhood he lives in, but it is the same one as Erin G so hopefully she runs into him again and they can have another great chat!!

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As a side note, last night, back in the safety of Ottawa I went to see Lewis Black's live stand up at the NAC. He's most famous lately for his appearances on the Daily Show, and he is pretty hilarious live as well. He had a great opening act too (who I can't remember the name of) who was equally hilarious. It was a good 2 hours of laughter and well worth the $45 ducat.

Posted by WRMB :: 4:23 PM :: 3 comments