The Ottawa Rabbit Hole

Over the past week or so it seems like I have hit the red light at every single intersection I have come upon and it is starting to get to me. You may wonder what the hell it is that I have to do that is so god damn important that I can't afford to spend an extra minute or so at every intersection. Well the truth is I have nothing important to get to at all, but I want to get there as fast as possible. Here are some of the things which I have been a few minutes late for:

Saturday: Watched Swingers with Purdy and then headed out to the Market. At first we tried our local drinking establishment 'Absinthe' which has been advertising hard over the last few months. Well I guess it doesn't work since there were a total of two people there. See ya later! After checking out the scene at my favourite spot, Bar 56, we eventually ended up at establishment X where Purdy knows the bartender. I have called it such in order to protect this person's job, as he was slipping his boy free drinks under the table all night, turning it into a runaway train of a night. I got a few perks from this relationship, but thankfully not as many so I kept myself in check. Purdy tried to give out his digits to a waitress, but I am pretty sure they went in the trash with all of the old receipts.

Sunday: Played beach volleyball in the late afternoon. An friend from the old days has been setting this up all summer, but I just got wind of it. Well there were exactly 12 people there so it worked out well and we had 6 on 6. After that I had a healthy dinner and then went to see Clerks II with some folk. This movie was hilarious, and Kevin Smith has done it again. It is a very fitting ending to his View Askew New Jersey universe. I recommend this flick to all Smith fans and everybody who appreciates terribly offensive potty humour.

Monday: Skipped my chitty volleyball and just hung around all night. Oh I also got groceries.

Tuesday: Ordered chicken and sat around all night.

Wednesday: Played volleyball with my fun team. We had two ringers sparing for us, and we dominated the other team. At first I felt guilty about our domination, but quickly realized they were just a terrible team and couldn't return any of our serves, which weren't particularly tough. I don't think they had very much fun since we ended up beating them by about 15 or more the last two games. Afterwards, most of us went out to eat at Temptation Tea Shop which is a great vietnamese place on Bank.

Thursday: Ran around Nepean for a while, doing some chores and looking at bookcases. I will detail my bookcase search in a later blog. One of my stops was Costco, where I decided to have a classic hot dog for supper. At the end of my travels, I had spent $20 on comic books, $2 on a hot dog and $5 on yogurt pretzels at Bulk Barn. After this blog entry I will overdose on reality television and go to sleep.

My total loss of patience has lead me to the conclusion that everybody in this world is an idiot (friends and family excluded). Here are some of the people who have made it to the top of my shit list:

1) The lady serving working cash at the Costco canteen. She was one of the unfriendliest people I have ever seen. Standing in line for about 5 minutes I really got to see her attitude and it was not good. After I paid and walked away, I turned back to ask for my drink cup, forgetting that I had tucked one under my arm already when paying. She gave me a look that I would only imagine myself seeing if I had told somebody I had just purposely burned down their house. I wanted to let her know that her unbridled sunshine brings a smile to the world, but I decided to let tact win and walked away. If you are so unhappy with your job, please quit and stop bringing the rest of the world down.

2) The lady who decided to bring her 1 year (or so) old to volleyball on Wednesday. It seems plain to me that a place where fast moving uncontrolled projectiles are flying around is not the safest place to allow your toddler to wander around aimlessly. I would not let this person take care of a fish tank, let alone a little human being.

3) The guy I saw walking down the street with the biggest pair of headphones on I have ever seen. Maybe you haven't noticed buddy, but in our modern society we have tried to streamline this type of technology through MP3 players and little bud earphones. I can only assume he was blasting his Air Supply cassette tape at full volume in his Walkman to take full advantage of those bad boys.

That is all. Please enjoy your day!!

Posted by WRMB :: 8:15 PM :: 1 comments